The Islands of Thailand: A Study in Contradictions

Thailand's islands are paradise.

And also not.

Both things are true.

Phi Phi is beautiful. Turquoise water. Limestone cliffs. Beaches so white they look photoshopped.

Phi Phi is also packed. Tour boats arrive at 10 AM. By noon, Maya Bay has five hundred people on it.

Going at 6 AM. Alone.

The water is glass. The sand is empty. A fisherman pulls in his nets.

For one hour, paradise is had.

Then the boats come.

Koh Lanta is quieter. Families. Couples. People who have been coming for twenty years.

Meeting a German couple at a beach bar. "We come here every winter," the woman says.

"Why?"

"Same place. Same people. Same sunset. Every year."

"Does not it get boring?"

"No. It gets reliable."

Thinking about that. About how novelty is chased. New places. New experiences.

Maybe there is something to be said for returning. For knowing what will be found.

Koh Phangan is famous for the Full Moon Party. Thousands of people. Fire shows. Buckets of cocktails. Music until sunrise.

Going. Once.

At 2 AM, covered in glow paint, holding a bucket that cannot be remembered buying, an existential crisis happens.

What am I doing here?

Why am I here?

Who am I?

Leaving at 3 AM. Going to a different beach. Sleeping.

Koh Tao is for divers. Open water certification is done there.

The instructor is Thai. Young. Patient.

"First rule. Breathe."

"Know how to breathe."

"Not underwater. Different."

He is right.

Underwater, rushing cannot happen. Panicking cannot happen. Holding breath cannot happen.

Breathing happens. Slow. Steady. Trusting the equipment. Trusting the training. Trusting yourself.

Coming up after the first dive. Looking at the horizon. Feeling like something was learned.

Not just about diving. About life.

Breathe. Trust. Do not panic.

Simple. Hard to remember.

The last night, sitting on a beach in Koh Samui. Watching the sunset.

A family next packs up. The father collects the toys. The mother holds the baby. The child complains.

They leave. Staying.

The sun goes down. The moon comes up. The tide comes in.

Thinking about the contradictions.

Paradise and crowds. Solitude and connection. Novelty and reliability.

Both things are true.

The islands are paradise. And also not.

Loving them anyway.